I’m watching the Packers and packing bowls and I’m thinking….

Clay Matthews isn’t just a (whatever he plays) for the Green Bay Packers – he’s a WARRIOR. Look at that beef. He’s like a blond Gaston when he flexes like that. He’s a MONSTER, and not a “Lady Gaga” kind of Monster but an actual rip you apart and crush you if he’s on top, protein shaking MONSTER. He trains hard, sweats hard, and loves to show if off and you know we gay stoners love a show boater.

He’s the only reason I’m watching this Superbowl thingy. That and Lea Michele was on.

I actually own an old faded Greeen Bay packers shirt I found at Goodwill, so I pulled it out today. The only problem is people come up to me in public and act like we’re in some secret club.

“Heeeey PACKERS!” They shout and point.

“Packers” I mumble back.

I was wearing the shirt as a gay pupn. I’m a top, therefore a Packer and oh so clever. But no one gets the joke. I’m just part of a club…a brotherhood I never knew I joined. But at least I can always say I dream of meeting Clay Matthews (in my butthole).

“Give it to me PACKERS!”