Call your mother! I know you don’t usually call her when you’re high, but do it anyways! Call your grandparents too and their entire Bible study group because Dr. Oz is giving the ganja the green light in Esquire!

(Esquire) What are the pros and cons of medical marijuana, as you see it?

Dr. Oz: Any medicine that helps humans, I am supportive of. I’m cautious about medical marijuana because I know that some people will abuse it, but I hate to penalize suffering people just because of a few jerks. For me, it’s more about helping people than breaking laws, and it’s hard to say no to a man who’s dying of cancer. If marijuana makes him feel better, stimulates his appetite, reduces his nausea from chemo, who am I to take it away from him? Or better stated: Why should we let a couple of jerks who abuse marijuana confuse us about our broader need to help people?

I’m not a jerk, Dr. Oz, I’m a jerk off…..BIG DIFFERENCE!