I want to take a road trip up to Oakland, CA and visit the heaven of grow stores. A place where everyone knows what you’re talking about, and you can share wisdom without fear. Complete with the “Grow Squad” iGrow won’t shy away from teaching you tricks of the trade or just pick up your medicinal marijuana license from their on site doctor.

You know, convience for the customers who are wheel chair parents.

Call your mother! I know you don’t usually call her when you’re high, but do it anyways! Call your grandparents too and their entire Bible study group because Dr. Oz is giving the ganja the green light in Esquire!

(Esquire) What are the pros and cons of medical marijuana, as you see it?

Dr. Oz: Any medicine that helps humans, I am supportive of. I’m cautious about medical marijuana because I know that some people will abuse it, but I hate to penalize suffering people just because of a few jerks. For me, it’s more about helping people than breaking laws, and it’s hard to say no to a man who’s dying of cancer. If marijuana makes him feel better, stimulates his appetite, reduces his nausea from chemo, who am I to take it away from him? Or better stated: Why should we let a couple of jerks who abuse marijuana confuse us about our broader need to help people?

I’m not a jerk, Dr. Oz, I’m a jerk off…..BIG DIFFERENCE!

So this is why when I went in to purchase my medicinal marijuana from the store everyone in there was so depressed. Now they have to find another job they can smoke pot on their break during! Doesn’t affect me after next week, I was smart enough to stop fishing and learn how to fish. That’s right Gay Stoners! I grow my own and you should too. It’s so easy a gay stoner could do it.

On Jan. 26, the Los Angeles City Council voted 9-3 to regulate medical marijuana dispensaries. Unfortunately, the brief history of dispensary regulation in L.A. shows that such efforts are futile and will likely lead to more felony prosecutions. According to the ordinance, dispensaries are to be limited to 70 with exceptions for those registered properly and currently in operation.

Gareth now that you’re officially gay you gotta get those teeth fixed! They’re like a BJ deterrent!

“Everyone here tonight is here to celebrate the world changing. . . It’s ok to be a sportsman and it’s ok to be gay.”

If you knew who Gareth Thomas was, you’d be touching yourself right now because he’s the first Rugby player to come out while still playing for England. He used to be married to such a beard so it was a shock! I don’t watch Rugby either but they’re more mo’ friendly so maybe I should. He came out in December and was hailed for his courage, so last night Gareth took it one step further and had a coming out party with his friends and teammates at celeb hangout Movida. Gareth is the patron of LGBT month over there now, so you see coming out can either crush you if you’re John Travolta or it can be the tentpole to your entire persona!

The poppers and sex orgy probably happened at his home later. Oh come on you know it did. All the gays were there except for one, who Gareth invited because he’s still in the closet but NEVER showed. Hmmm….Sounds like someone has a fuck buddy who doesn’t want to play press yet.

“It’s not really about outing people. And, you know, when people have a game or an event, they can’t really go out drinking.”

So what’s your address and I’ll pick up lube?

The Los Angeles City Council on Tuesday tentatively approved an ordinance to close most of the city’s medical marijuana dispensaries, winding down months of debate on how to limit the rapid spread of such clinics.

The ordinance, if passed next week by a simple majority of the 15-member council, would cap the number of dispensaries at 70 and require them to be at least 1,000 feet from “sensitive uses” – schools, parks and other public gathering spots.

That is a gay ass if I’ve ever seen one. Straight men can’t stick out their asses like that, you have to delocate your hip. It takes a true Mo’ to really understand the arch and Scott looks like he’s done this position before at a bukake party! The arch is fully complete when someone is grabbing your hair from the back, right? That’s the gay arch, and Scott Herman’s got it down, don’t open your mouth though….it’s TOO much. The Real World Brooklyn star has found a way to keep us coming back for more, but notice he never shows us the Full Monty because it’s probably not as impressive as his hairless ass.

BUTT, I could look at his body all day. I used to have a flat ass myself, even with the gay arch, until I discovered Scott Herman’s homoerotic workout videos which I now do in my living room. You can’t eat Scott’s ass (or could you?) but you can get an arch like Scott!

What gym is he working out at, because I’m sure to run into him in the steam room for some stolen glances and towel tents!

I love the Ace Man, and would chose him in a gay orgy over Jimmy Kimmel any day. Listen to his pro stance on marijuana and never have to argue with dumb people about it again.

Ahh my Gay Stoners, we are so close to legalization here in California. So close I can smell the blunt wraps and influx of Benjamins from California’s Green Rush right here from where I sit at my computer….staring out my window at the sunset….stoned.

It’s a happy, and historic day here in Cali so sit back, relax, and enjoy the progress. California voters would rather have bigger cages for chickens and legalized marijuana than gay marriage. So they better fucking give me my medicine. Thanks!

“This historic vote marks the formal beginning of the end of marijuana prohibition in the United States,” said Stephen Gutwillig, California state director of the Drug Policy Alliance. “Making marijuana legal has now entered the public dialogue in a credible way. Decades of wasteful, punitive, racist marijuana policy have taken quite a toll in this country. The Public Safety Committee has demonstrated that serious people take ending marijuana prohibition seriously.”

Now the buzz is self-sustaining, indicating a willingness of America, as a whole, to engage the subject.

“The first time, nearly eight years ago, I attempted to pitch a marijuana-related story to CNN, they literally laughed at me,” remembers Bruce Mirken, a San Francisco–based spokesman for the Marijuana Policy Project. “The person who answered the phone burst out laughing. Now they’re calling us. We’ve been on various broadcasts and cable network shows 21 times this year — at least a couple on CNN. We’ve also been on the Today show, ABC World News, really all over.”

TURNED ON HERE

THEN I CLICK THROUGH AND THERE’S A BUNCH OF BITCHES IN MY PORN, WATCHING!

MORE OVER BITCHES I CAN’T SEE! What are you even doing here anyways, he obviously likes dick! Noooo excuse ME!

Click through to be TURNED ON & WEIRDED OUT

It’s set to techno so we can all bet he’s a sister.

I got lost on Youtube in the Abs section and found this little gem. I thought I was doing pretty good with my 10 pull ups on my butch pull up bar, and two pack but this guy’s A FREAK! He looks like an egg carton because, you know that’s like the only thing he eats. I’m a good gay stoner though, I’m active, no guilt here. I go hiking at Runyon and see other guys with hotter bodies but the only thing I’d change about my body are the numerous hair follicles.

He’s getting a little handsy down there past that egg carton.

Andy Dick was on The Adam Carolla Podcast and totally spilled the seeds on German Singer Nina Hagen being a HUUUUGE stoner. I guess Andy “Love Some” Dick was shooting a PETA campaign with Nina and Pam Anderson recently and said she smoked pot.

“I’ve recently befriended her because I’m in a commercial for PETA…. so I met Nina Hagen during this commercial you know, who’s this … she is ….she is a trip. The other thing about Nina is she doesn’t drink, she does smoke pot.”-Andy Dick

Which means they were high as a kite during the save the animals commercial. Oh like you wouldn’t smoke before that too!?

99 Luft Balloons remember? Now she probably has to gown her own stuff like me so she can afford her medicine.

LISTEN TO ADAM & ANDY HERE!